iamartofmothering

What intuition gave Khadijah insight for the Prophet Muhammad  when he was in crisis and feeling distraught? What keen reflection did she recognize when her husband was in that weak state? Why did she choose to support rather than to abandon him? The solace she gave was most appropriate, and gentile. Where did she derive her inspiration? He was delicate, and she selected her instruction to appeal to his logic as well as his need for comfort. How did she balance her compassion with her intellect? What astute wisdom did she conjure to recognize his nature as a man who could not solely rely on the words of his wife to confirm what he saw was not “insanity”. He needed confirmation to assure himself that her consolation wasn’t purely emotion based upon her deep love and loyalty to him. So, she took him to Waraqa to put him at ease. In that time, how was she certain that he was Prophet Muhammad as was revealed?

A good wife is a balm to her husband.

She communicates what he cannot without damaging his nature.

She waits upon him. She waits on him. She waits for him. Without losing her own self.

Her physical and intellectual character is the “Y” of his “Y”. She confirms the multiplicity of his being without losing her own. Her “Y” stands alone, but mixes with his “YX” appropriately.

Mates are assigned from heaven. They are alike in nature, or they are not (which will eventually reveal itself). They engage as biological opposites to find a common ground beyond what they create together for the womb. The consummation is basic instinct, but wife and husband rise above that by communication with attributes such as: listening and hearing; patience and tolerance; quiet and confirmation; love and understanding; loyalty and concern.

A good wife is not random. She chooses her platform of engagement. In moments, she controls by her wiles and beguiles — the mysteries of her positive outcomes, getting what she desires, and what she requires to preserve of her unit’s harmony. The quest should always be peace. Because there are universal functions that need to be taken care of, her partnership facilitates necessities — eating, sleeping, nurturing, consultation. She is responsible and accountable for securing space and time for these activities inside the rhythm of her home.

She is conscious of what he needs.

A good wife adds not subtracts. Her presence enhances not debases. She creates an environment of peace, solace, and calm specific to her unit — her husband. She is his special gift, but she is herself. When she supports that balance between giving, receiving, and being her husband is strengthened within the reality of his own limitations — to be a man because she is a woman. He likes her because she is a woman neither traversing his right or withholding her own right. He appreciates the expression she gives to her own individual qualities while she shares those with his. They mix-it-up in measured scales to create a duality that benefits continued and constant elevation. Years pass with change, and change implodes renewal. Her yielding to her role means he is not threatened by it. Thus, jealousy and covetousness cannot exist in the environment. These ideals are targets to work towards, and she recalls every present vision to keep all the good. She is justice within and he is justice without — they are the economics of marriage.

These days good wives are few. Wives are few. Husbands are few. The desire for an honest unit by marriage is escaping the society, and no one seems to care. So, how can a good wife maintain her station? How can good husbands secure good wives?

The race for material gain burdens men, women, and children. No one is home. Social media and electronics create subliminal partnership and dissatisfied unions. The institutions of marriage suffer without communication. The nature of womanhood demands its opposite, and wives need husbands to prove they are good wives.

Still, the biology waits for the action. A woman can be no less than what she is and no more than what she can become. If the institution of marriage dies away, there will be no goodness and there will be no union. Commitment, responsibility, accountability are the staying power of marriages that evolve good wives and good husbands — good fathers, good daughters, good sons.