iamartofmothering

I AM a mother.

I understand “mothering” as that unique character belonging to females. It is an attribute which appears from various engagements and activities. Or it may remain dormant with or without childbearing.

I have been mothering all of my life. Even as a young girl, I viewed my world through what mothers did and how they did what they did. I watched my grandmother, my aunts, my mother, my sister. I watched their actions, observed their reactions, scrutinized their interactions, and recorded their emotions. Some of my mentors were meticulous, some were sporty, some were elegant, and some were dainty. Compared to their male counterparts, all were creative, industrious, and energetic. Although each worked and played differently, a current of caring preceded their every action and reaction. Some cared through their intellect, some cared with their hands, others cared with their words, and their body language bespoke volumes — touches, hugs, glances, silence — emotions; for me, illustrated their art of mothering.

Now, as a seasoned mother of ten with grandchildren exceeding 25, I recognize the art of mothering as a creative fine art, which is the maximum training for positive human development and human interaction. It is also a tool of justice parallel to the tools given to men. For, if you can resolve one minor conflict with your children — just one, you may confidently say I…AM the Art of Mothering. This Art demands all intellect, all emotion, all skill, and all perception to solve every immediate human dilemma with the twist of your own unique personality, and your own peculiar history and culture to reveal your own “mothering” skills. In turn, you glean your own humanity and its contribution to the sustenance and growth of other human beings, which are directly in your charge, but who will eventually impact community — whether the beings are within your own family, remote or global community; beast, bird, or insect. Your A of M will impact the world of humanity.

“Mothering” is not confined to biology or to an immediate environment. This skill fits into all realms of human engagement: physiological, sociological, economic, spiritual,. and even political.. The nuances are two components: mother potential and mother predominant. The potential is dormant, the predominant awakens from the potential. Given reason and circumstances, the Art of Mothering evolves at first on a biological realm from a unique individual who is the same as other women, but different by the circumstances and events that rear her. On any level, the first response to her presence is that she is, in fact, a woman. Thus, she is attached to premonitions and expectations for her future. At the same time, there are standards and natural inclinations assigned to her. She may or may not fulfill those presupposed (perhaps stereotypical) designations, but she will emerge her womanhood then her mothering proficiency follows. This potential (away from viewed conformity) predominates and becomes her character, which is most affective when she interacts with others.

My own mother, who was a great mother, grew positive intervention skills toward my older (only) sister after I, the youngest, grew to adolescence. The time frame from my sister, a child, to her becoming a young woman — 16 and beyond, was my mother’s Art of Mothering education. In this case, my mother’s art grew with her children. But, she had preset crafts before we were born. These preset, specialized talents could only be garnered under specific circumstances and events, unique to my mother. These were her three children. In another case, potential mothering may evolve from a struggle, an employment, a surrogate role (care taking in some guise). How was this my mother’s case?

While I was growing, my mother realized from my sister’s reactions and responses that there were solutions she needed to find, strategies she needed to adopt to promote my sister’s most positive attributes. At the same time, she wanted my sister to self-reflect and to be peace positive, not contentious negative. It was my mother’s woman natural-ality that prompted her to care whether my sister was holistically human. At the same time, from rearing my sister, she discovered her own personal shortcomings as a woman and a mother, so she altered herself and her practices while  raising me. Subsequently, while she developed as a unique mother to us, by time and experience she became an individual woman — her own human self. The scenario reveals the A of M, potential and predominant evolution.

So as self-reflection is hidden,  and a woman’s anatomy is also hidden, and it is a biological fact that child development happens from within (hidden) to without (apparent); the psychology of this phenomenon means that a women’s potential is predicated upon self-realization from within and self-acceptance (of woman-ness) from without,  even if they never have a child.

Woman is an institution —  man is an institution; mothering separates women from men — mothers from fathers. This site is to inform and share and celebrate the differences with certainty.

For this purpose, the fact of “mothering” has preoccupied me from my tenure as a married woman, my condition as a single woman, and my occupations as a professional. Compelled, I wanted to deliver a message that mothering” by biology, psychology, and sociology is an occupation, a development, and an art that defines a females womanhood regardless of her childbearing capacity.  Here, we can share, mentor, inform, and inspire young girls and women through stories, philosophies, and viewpoints about mothering as a concept and a practice; we observe and advise those who are less confident, or who are suffering backlash for their womanhood or female-ness being a biological fact.

Perhaps you are a mother with a newborn, you work and are a single mother, you are recently single, or you are a grandmother, or you are in some other circumstance of your womanhood. In any case, this blog is for you to comment, argue, express, or inspire. It is a blog written to define and redefine an institution that has been given modicum consideration past rearing children and caring for husbands — overlooked, and underpaid. Mothers are not prized in the workplace nor are the skills that emanate from its practice appreciated by the whole society.

As a woman, “feel good about yourself” is contemporary, but the Art of Mothering” is beyond the adage, since mothering predominant is an innate attribute that contributes to a woman’s self-confidence and her self actualization. This blog is to make women feel good about who they naturally are so their own “mothering” skills will see them through trials and tribulations. Not only that, trials and tribulations become tools to strengthen a girl and woman’s rightful ownership of the institution, and of the biology.

My hope is that this blog becomes a social network, a magazine, and an advice column for all women to communicate in their own unique fashion what, indeed, does make them an Art of Mothering.

Given the cultural spectrum of women around the world, the varied ideologies that determine what kind of women and mothers we are, as well as the impact of political, economic, and social phenomena on the institution (of motherhood), women have found themselves exposed to and learning from other women through news and social media. This blog is to open a door to the ways and means women use to dig in and struggle against the policy and plans to alter their state. Therefore, it will be an information blog that defines “mothering” as a trait that reveals who women are, and who they should be for the perpetuation of healthy individuals, families, and societies. In sharing this blog, the reality of mothering — the quest of “womanhood” is explored.

My blog may introduce foreign concepts and ideas, but these unusual messages will illustrate the connections between being a woman and “mothering” as mirrors reflecting the same phenomenon — You are … The Art of Mothering

The Art of Mothering …is an institution.